My bedroom was a reflection of what I was experiencing on the inside.
Unpacked boxes, unfolded clothes, unplaced toiletries – the only organized area of my room was the bed I habitually and proudly made every day, and the nightstand on the right side of my bed, because that was where I kept my Moldavite, Oracle Cards, and my “Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” and “Oneness” books. Yes, you can be spiritual as f*ck, and not have your shit completely together – forget what you heard. I was like the guy who shows up to the party but doesn’t take his shoes or jacket off, because he’s not sure whether he’s coming or going – yup, that guy. Uno problemo… This was my life, and when Reno shows up to a party, he takes off his shoes, his jacket, and sometimes his pants – yes, I referred to myself in 3rd person, and yes I admit to occasionally taking my pants off at parties. #NoPantsDanceParty
I’ve learned – in my twenty-something years on this planet – that one small change can make a world of difference, how we do one thing is how we do everything, and that our outside world is a reflection of what’s happening on the inside, so I took the essentials out of the boxes, tidied my space, packed the rest away, and began the process of embracing the present moment. Sure, I might be leaving, but for now I was here. You’re probably wondering what any of this has to do with fear of commitment, or maybe you’re thinking that my resistance to unpacking my boxes was a fear of committing to being home from Bali (could be true, just hit me as I write this), and I’m totally getting to it.
Dude and I are having this powerful conversation about “light”. My NUMERO UNO core desired feeling is without a doubt light – love it, live it, spread it, feel it, and if it ain’t light, it probably ain’t right. I’m talking radiant, weightless, energetic, powerful, fiery, nourishing, vitamin-fucking-D-elicious light. I wanna float through life like a sun beam, feeding and energizing everyone I come into contact with. I wanna shine so bright I stop traffic. Again, what does this have to do with fear of commitment… Breathe, I’m getting to it.
So we’re talking about light, and dude shares some profound wisdom with me, and *click* *ding* *BOOM* – a shift, an insight, a miracle. Here I am, all radiant and shit, talkin’ ’bout how if it ain’t light, it ain’t right, meanwhile I’m packing on the weight, dimming the shine, killing the energy, smothering the fire. Heavy thoughts, heavy feelings, heavy decisions, heavy life – all of my doing. I had convinced myself that the weight of the world was sexy, and a necessary pre-requisite to “Life 101”. It became quickly and blatantly obvious that my light was actually heavy as hell, and for some reason I had completely missed it – that’s the funny thing about competing commitments. On the one hand I’m steady screamin’ “TEAM LIGHT” from the bleachers, and on the other hand I’ve got these voices of childhood and adolescence past – mostly the male figures in my life, who will respectively remain unnamed – telling me that living light is just not the way things are done, and that hard work and blood and sweat and scars are a symbol of success and manhood. Booourns. #ByeFelicia
The voices – old, washed up, and so not true. What’s true, in this moment, is that I’m committed to living in alignment with my core values, my core desired feelings, and the truths that feel oh-so-truthful to yours truly – ME.
Then it hits me. DUUUUUDE! What if commitment phobia isn’t necessarily a bad thing!? WHAT IF commitment phobia isn’t even commitment phobia!? WHAT IF commitment phobia is just another way of articulating a desire for fluidity and flow and freedom and light!? What if “society” has it all wrong and commitment phobia has been wrongfully accused? AAAAAND! WHAT IF all they’re really saying is that they wanna feel light, and all we have to do is honor that ish – let ’em have options and choices and all that free-feeling goodness – and in giving them what they desire, we get what we desire… Didn’t Deepak mention something about this in one of his powerful books… Seek to understand to be understood; give what you want and you’ll attract what you desire.
They – “they” being the commitment-phobes – will eventually come around, because they value integrity, and if they don’t, then you’re probably gonna wanna reevaluate beloved. #JustSaying
Commitment-phobes, consider yourself free to feel free – respectfully so of course. And seriously, try messing with the sun and see if you don’t get burned. You gotta work WITH the light.
WOW! 2015’s off to a very enlightening start. Happy New Year to you all!
I’ve been managing my energy in new ways, committing to the things that matter, spending less time doing the things that don’t, and really getting clear on my intentions (not goals) and the feelings I want to bring in a big way – though logging unnecessary time on Facebook, and getting to bed before 10PM still seem to be a couple hurdles I’m committing to overcoming.
I’m pumped to dive into today’s topic because it really served me in a profound way when I was caught up in this idea that I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing – I wasn’t “living my purpose.”
“I don’t know what the f*ck I want to do with my life,” thought nearly everyone at some point.
“I have no clue what my purpose for being here is.”
This might confuse the crap out of you for a hot minute, but I’m certain you’ll begin to understand it by the end of our engagement: “It is in being you and doing you that you are living your purpose.”
I repeat. It is in BEING YOU and DOING WHAT YOU DO that you are living your purpose.
Kind of a head-scratcher right? It was for me too, but I’ll break it down for ya.
What you are doing right now, in this very moment, is living your purpose, and moments from now, what you will be doing is living your purpose. Now, you may be thinking “So what you’re telling me is that as I’m sitting here reading this, and it’s quite possible that I’ve reached my one of my lowest lows, and I basically feel like I’m doing jack-sh*t and just kinda going through the motions, I’m currently living my purpose,” and my response would be “In essence, yes.”
Purpose has become the proverbial carrot, on the end of the stick – always just out of reach. And it’s not so much the carrot that we crave, but what it represents – a sense of meaning and validation. In our quest for our all-mighty purpose, we believe or begin to believe that until we’ve found it – this magical, hidden treasure, buried in the thick of Life – we are incomplete and our lives have no real meaning. This is FALSE.
Do not get it twisted. One can certainly aspire to realize their deepest and their most potent and purposeful PASSIONS – saving lives, transforming lives, bettering lives, positively-impacting the planet – but it is my belief that in being and doing you, you are living your purpose.
Pause – – – Really think about that for a second…
Word on the street is that living your purpose is essentially engaging in an action and/or series of actions that possess meaning and significance, and create impact (and who doesn’t love meaning and significance and impact).
If this is true, then in your every action you are living your purpose – that is – you are creating an action or series of actions that possess meaning and significance, and create impact – whether or not you consider your action(s) meaningful, significant or impactful. For example, that time you received an award for being bad ass and doing that thing that you do so well. Yep! You were living your purpose. Or, that time you slept in, got toothpaste on your shirt, and ended up being over an hour late for work. Again, living your purpose.
Seriously though. A simple interaction with a cashier at a local business not only affects you, but it also affects the cashier and the cashier’s being and doing (intentions/actions), which then affects the being and doing of those who the cashier engages with. Even my writing this post might affect a reader in some way that will create insight and potentially inspire them to think and act in some particular way.
Crazy if you think about it. You’re one powerful motha-SHUT-YO-MOUTH!
Whether you are simply going through the motions, or moving through life with intention, you are significant, your being here has meaning, and your actions affect and impact your surroundings.
In this busy, bustling, and booming time, where everyone is clamouring to be seen and heard and validated, it can become very easy to discredit some of the simple things we do, and how they affect the universe on a grand scale. The mosquito, the bottom-feeding fish, the glutton, the “nobody” are all living their purpose, and they are all significant, because their actions possess meaning and significance, and create impact. Whether sucking blood, eating the feces and waste of the feces and waste, consuming junk food and junk television, or going through the motions with no idea what the f*ck it is you’re even doing here, you’re presently living your purpose.
“So what now!?”
Two words, three syllables each, and INFINITE POWER & POTENTIAL.
When you do what you do, don’t just do it to do it. MEAN IT. INTEND IT. That is conciousness and intention. No more going through the motions. Don’t just DO Life, BE Life. Two of the most powerful ways I’ve been able to embody such values is through applying the following practiciples (practical practices and principles) to my life:
Practiciple 1: “It is in the breath that I connect to All That Is.”Close your eyes right now and inhale and exhale slowly and deeply, and then slowly open your eyes. Notice how you feel… Still and in the here and now. That’s presence, and that presence grounds you and connects you, and it’s that connection to HERE and NOW – this moment – that invites consciousness and intention.
Practiciple 2: “Why will guide you through your depths and into that which you are seeking.” For the next 24 hours, starting right now, I want you to ask yourself “Why” – “Why am I signing onto Facebook,” or “Why am I eating or drinking this,” or “Why am I engaging in this activity,” or “Why am I feeling the way I’m feeling?” The more “Why’s”, the deeper your journey. Be gentle with yourself during this process, and feel free to take some time to pause if you become far too overwhelmed. The intention isn’t to drain you, it’s to help you become more conscious of your actions and intentions. It may seem silly at first, but I guarantee it’ll change you if you purposefully apply it.
Now, if it’s your passion(s) you seek (which I find is often mistaken with purpose), that’s a conversation I’d be happy to dive into and help you gain clarity around.
In fact, we’ll take a look at that in an upcoming post, and I’ll tell you how I discovered mine and help you discover yours.
There’s much to share, but, for now, I must take care… of myself.
Somehow, I’ve still managed to connect with those in need, and fill them up with some of what I have left, but now I must refill.
Moderation baby. Moderation.
I will return in a week or two, but I felt it necessary to keep you all in the loop, because my relationship with you is important to me.
I love you all, and I wish you all a happy holiday.
I will leave you with something I recently shared with the world, in hopes that we might all have a more conscious Christmas:
Question: What favours are we doing the youth and our children by teaching them to value consumerism over consciousness? Where’s the lesson in going broke for Christmas presents, so that you can keep up with “tradition” and “The Jones’s”? Why do you HAVE to buy Christmas gifts? Why do you HAVE to be broke, stressed, and up to your ears in debt come January? I don’t believe you do.
Ask yourself where these ideas and beliefs about what Christmas come from…
We lead by example, and people are watching – our children and our youth are watching – and it’s likely they will follow suit. I know we have the best intentions, but intentions are nothing without actions that support them.
This year, give the gift of consciousness.
With Love, Light, and Liberation,
Your friend, your brother, your soul sibling – Reno
When you’re in the business of looking and feeling good, there’s a sort of looming anxiety that occurs when you begin to disembody the very essence you propagate – when you suddenly cease to practice that which you preach.
“Who am I to suggest this to others?”
“Am I a fraud if…?”
And, to add insult to injury, you slowly begin to “lose touch” (not to be mistaken with sight, because it’s staring you right in the face) – with yourself and with this experience called Life, and with All That Is.
“If I’ve stopped doing what I do, am I who I am? Who am I?”
This is a beautiful place to be, and these are beautiful questions to be asking.
The recognition of your sudden disconnection from that which fertilizes the crop that is your soul – practice – is a sign that there is no disconnection. This recognition signifies a call for clarity, a journey home, and a return to basics.
“In order to be more of who you were, you need to do what you did.”
Daily practice was and is and will be an integral part of my life – a part of my life that, when consistently honoured and applied, allows me to fully show up. It’s the difference between a shitty day and an amazing one. It’s the difference between me locking my fucking keys in the house, and me consciously flowing through my daily tasks. The catch though is that when I’m honouring and applying these daily practices, it becomes such a natural thing that life can creep up and convince you that one or two or more days missed will not make a difference in your life. Suddenly you’ve fallen off the proverbial wagon… I had done just that.
“There was this love and light and energy that I emanated, and it spilled over into everyone and everything I came into contact with. What if I never experience that again?”
I took a good look around, a good look inward, and, a few insightful conversations later, it had become crystal clear that it had little to do with who I was with or where I was. Not to say that it was completely gone, but somewhere along the way I had let go of the practices that allowed me to experience and embody and exude the love and light and energy that spilled over into everyone and everything I came into contact with – exercise, meditation, prayer, creation, deep conversation, self-inquiry, contemplation, reflection, visualization, service, fellowship. I was still able to conduct myself in such a way that allowed me to be of service to others – those who can’t do teach – but it wasn’t the same. I wasn’t the same. I wasn’t the version of me that I aspired to be – my best version of me.
BOOM! That was it. The daily practice returned like it was going out of style, and the love and light and energy that I emanated and that spilled over into everyone and everything I came into contact with returned with a vengeance. I experienced life from the inside-out. I connected with people from the inside-out. I felt music from the inside-out. I witnessed nature from the inside out. I connected with All That Is from the the inside-out.
Simple, yet not. Profound, yet obvious. 3 words.
Back. To. Basics.
Where are you feeling out of alignment? Can you recall a time where you felt in alignment and in flow? What were YOU doing? Who were YOU being? From experience, I recognize that it’s natural to contribute feelings to circumstances, experiences, and individuals, but the truth is that those feelings could not exist if they were not already present within you, no matter how deep. Your bliss does not lie in the hands of others. Your bliss is found within – a by-product of the soul. It’s that describably-indescribable space that is the link between the Human Experience and the soul. Bliss is like a a seed – you must feed it and water it and nurture it and love it until it blossoms into a full-grown, and when it does, you must continue to feed it and water it and nurture it and love it, as you would pet, or a plant, or a child – your inner child.
What daily practices are you committed to honouring in the name of self-love and bliss? They work if you work ’em! 😉
Upon reflection I realize that I’ve been “unknowingly” applying these practices and laws for as long as I can remember. I use the term “unknowingly” very loosely, because I believe in the innate wisdom of the soul.
One of my most memorable experiences with The Law of Attraction happened a couple of years ago, but I didn’t realize what I had fulfilled until after the fact.
It was the first day of class, and we all sat around the perimeter, eyeing each other up and making judgements about who we’d likely become close with, and who might be our competition. The program coordinators had us go around the classroom and share our intentions and expectations during and following the program. Many seemed certain, and some hadn’t a clue, and finally there was me. I ambitiously and matter-of-factly stated “I’m going to finish the program and secure an internship with a fashion PR company and move to Toronto.” I had absolutely no idea what I was talking about, but it sounded cool and I believed it was possible.
As the months went on, I imagine the seed of that intention sat, untouched, until Spring – how fitting.
It was time to begin addressing our internships, as we would soon begin applying to businesses and playing an active role in determining our futures. Again, I stated that I would not be applying locally, which would mean that I would not have the help of the internship coordinator, and that I would take it upon myself to coordinate the process. I’m quite positive that everyone felt this was a bold move on my part, and I could feel the energy shift when I would explain my decision to some of my peers, but that didn’t stop me from treading on.
I stumbled upon an ad for an internship position with a start-up in Toronto, Ontario, and I applied for the position. To demonstrate my abilities, I was asked to put together a document for a potential client of the company, and, despite my anxiety around my experience, I completed it with flying colours, and I was offered the position. Because my program didn’t end until September, and I was asked to start much sooner, I had to bravely ask if it were possible that a spot be left open for me until then, and I would continue to help from home in the meantime, to which I was accommodated.
It all seemed very surreal, and I still didn’t fully comprehend the fact that in just several short months I might be on an airplane to Toronto to fulfill my dreams of thriving in the big city.
To put things into perspective for you, I was barely managing on the money I had from my student loan, and I was working part-time, so I was really fuckin’ winging it, but I was a man with a plan and I had already gotten a taste, so I wasn’t about to give up.
I recall having a deep conversation with my uncle where he reasoned with me to make sure that I was in the right frame of mind about the move. He assured me that at this point I really had nothing to lose, because I could go out there, and even if I came back, I’d be no further behind than I was when I left, and that this was probably the perfect time in my life to make such a bold decision.
As summer flew by and quickly came to an end, I began packing my things, and giving many of them away. My father had agreed to let me move in with him and stay on his couch until I was settled into the city, so it was just me, $200, my backpack, and my suitcase. I can still remember the tides of emotions that rise in and out during the week leading up to my departure. There were certainly moments where I thought it impossible for me to leave my beloved home behind, but this was something I had to do for me, and a force was pulling me East.
True to form, I rushed to the airport that evening, and hugged my best friend goodbye. You could see the sadness in his skin, and feel it in his vibration. It was almost as if the city itself was sad to see me leave, and I too, its biggest cheerleader, was sad to leave it. Two of my friends had met me at the airport to see me off, and I couldn’t have felt more loved. I boarded the plane, and I was on my way…
Baseball diamond after baseball diamond, and so many lights. We were approaching the big city, and I was still in shock. I hadn’t found anyone to pick me up from the airport, so I was convinced I would be taking a cab or some other form of public transportation. Luckily, my sister had made arrangements with my friend to come and pick me up. I hadn’t seen her in YEARS, and yet it felt like only yesterday I had seen her. I arrived at my dad’s, where the three of us shared a space – ambitious, I know. I barely settled in, chatted with them, and went to bed.
The next morning was painful. As I write, I can vividly recall the sadness and depression I was feeling. I wanted to pull the blankets over my head and sleep forever. I couldn’t help but wonder if moving there had been a huge mistake. “Nope. You didn’t come here for this. It’s time to get up and get on with the day.” So I did.
The weeks and months to come were interesting. I dove deep, face first into my spirituality, and began an internal journey that nobody would’ve imagined. I began writing more frequently and sharing the many miracles and insights of my experience with those back home. In hindsight, I realize this was just one of many heroes journeys within one vast heroes journey. I was living out “The Alchemist” (if you haven’t read it, you must).
I can recall stepping out of my comfort zone to anxiously approach a familiar face; a model whose career I had followed on YouTube for years. I quickly became friends with her and her dear friend Jules, and before I knew it we were sitting around a table having wine and talking as if we’d known each other for ages. My hip-hop dance teacher from years ago would later walk in; even more shocking because I’m not from Toronto, and for me to run into two familiar faces within an hour seems unheard of. Miraculous.
While my internship had started off questionable, but tolerable, because I was impressionable and open to learning, I had quickly realized that my values would not fit into what seemed to be a more cut-throat environment than I was comfortable being a part of. I decided it was time to plan an out, while honouring my commitment to the tasks at hand.
Through an email interaction with a woman who would offer me an internship opportunity and then later suggest that I might be more interested in interning with a friend of hers, I would find myself connecting with some of the fashion industry’s biggest players, and participating in the coordination of fashion events. Things seemed to continue unfolding in ways I couldn’t fully comprehend.
Frequently checking my inbox to see if any opportunities had come up, I received an email from one of Toronto’s top PR companies inviting me to come in for an interview. I couldn’t believe it. I threw myself into learning the ins and outs of the company and its staff. I remember sitting down in my interview, and later hearing how shocked the interviewer was that I had seen and done so much, and met so many people in that city in such a short time. I was sure I had nailed it, and what would come would seal the deal.
A friend of mine very nonchalantly invited me to an event, and suggested that I dress up. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I was excited. We met outside a large building, where security and doormen awaited guests. As we entered the building, I realized this wasn’t just any event. We were asked for our names, and greeted with champagne. I looked across the room and saw a familiar face. It was the man who had interviewed me days ago. The PR company he worked for, and I had interviewed at, was handling the event. He was shocked to see me there. “You sure do get around don’t ya,” he said jokingly. Believe me, I was as surprised as he was. That night I would rub shoulders with many of the who’s who of the local fashion, entertainment, and media industries. I felt like a fish out of water, but you couldn’t tell by looking at me. People seemed to love the glimmer in my eyes, and the naivete and light I exuded.
Spirituality became a major part of my life as events continued to unfold, and I continued to learn more and more about myself. Never had I been surrounded by so many people and felt so alone. But, it did me good. I found inspiration in moments of solitude, and I spent much of my time in meditation, contemplation, prayer, and deep thought. An inward journey that ignited a blazing fire within me. The phoenix hath risen.
Though it came as a surprise to many, considering my success in the big city, it became more and more clear that it wasn’t a place I’d want to plant roots, though I’d certainly want to visit again and again. Two short months into the experience, I would make a bold decision that would change my life in ways I would have never imagined. I decided to return home.
Intuition and instinct have guided me much of my life, and I’ve trusted my soul to guide me most times, which to some may seem fickle, but to those who understand me, it makes perfect sense.
Had I not returned home, much of what has come to be might not be so. I’ve now made much of my life about my relationship with myself, with my soul, with God, and with people. Transformation – through inspiration, motivation, and information – has become a gift I have recognized within myself, and I’ve shared it with others. I’ve become a sort of healer and mentor and teacher – my life being the class.
It’s interesting that I sit here and write this, when just a year ago today, I was packing up to return home in honour of instinct and intuition. People would suggest that I might be making a mistake, or that I hadn’t given it enough time and thought, but they would still support me.
I was sure that I was making the right decision, and my soul was singing at the simple thought of returning home. I remember the moment I arrived and jumped off the plane; I was lit up from the inside-out; a feeling I would come to experience more and more. Call it coincidence or fate, but that very feeling of inside-out illumination has become much of my purpose in life – a lesson I had to leave home and return in order to learn. And here were are today.
Plant a seed of intention. Nourish it with consciousness and action. Watch it grow. You will reap what you sow.
This is the power of intention and The Law of Attraction.
Shackled by the very thing you believe will set you free.
But you must lean in.
You must lean and lean and lean deeper; all the way into YOU.
Do. Pause. Be.
I’ve been on a conscious, much-desired, and much-required hiatus. 30-day information cleanse. 3-month coaching program. Post-treatment communion with my mother. Familial rejuvenation and repair. Divine appointments and agreements with those desiring my personal brand of inside-out transformation. A miraculous calling to write a book that could serve to elevate us all. If you haven’t taken time to restore, replenish, and renovate this year, I encourage you to do so – it’s absolutely uncomfortable, insightful, belief shattering, liberating, and blissful – if you have the balls, or lady-balls, to hang in there long enough and commit to self-love.
I sit here and write, a changed man. A bold and necessary statement. I committed to the journey, wanting to turn back at times, and I’ve broken through and transcended many of the walls and ceilings that would have me play small. I truly understand what it means to love oneself, trust oneself, and lean into oneself.
The moment I decided to remove the crutches of motivation and personal development, and stand on my own two feet, it became clear that I already possessed all the makings of an amazing and successful human and spiritual being. There is a place for personal development, otherwise I would not be who I am or do what I do, but when it becomes more “can’t function without it” and less “dig it and do it”, you may find yourself less liberated and independent than you may think – “It’s personal development, it must be doing more good than harm.” Not always true. Moderation baby. Mod-er-ation.
Delete. Unsubscribe. Delete. Unsubscribe. Delete. Every email. Every blog. All of it, for 30-days. Didn’t need it. Thought I did. But, after 30 days, I brought some of it back, because it serves me, and I can handle it now – I respect it. It wasn’t so much about getting rid of it all. Information for me kinda became like an addiction to food. I’d consume and consume and consume, as if there would soon be no more; hardly allowing it to digest or using it for fuel. I realize telling you this could be career suicide, but I believe in service and in you, and in myself, so much that I’ve made it my business to be genuine and transparent – we’re building a relationship here.
More love. More light. More bliss. More me.
Not even 30 days in, it was as if I could do anything. Scratch that; I COULD do anything. Scratch that; I CAN do anything. I now look to those who I came to adore and follow as inspirational muses and mentors and peers who I will someday join at “the top”, or whatever we’re calling it these days. For now, I’m exactly who I need to be, I’m exactly where I need to be, and I couldn’t be happier.
What’s holding you back? What’s keeping you shackled and stuck? What stories are you still telling yourself? What’s dying to be dug up, seen, heard, expressed, and released?
Would you like some help with that? You, the people, are my purpose.
It’s time to get honest. If I can do it, believe me, you can get ‘er fucking done. As sure as you are sitting here reading this, you have the chutzpah, zest, balls, pizazz, and all that other innate goodness that’s required to be your best, boldest, and baddest self.
I have this friend – we’ll call him John – and John struggles with boundaries. John’s favourite lines are “it’s all good”, “no worries”, and “it’s not an issue”. John’s the kinda guy who has chosen to accept the short end of the stick for a good portion of his young-adulthood/adulthood, and has suffered for it as a result – low/no-paying gigs, unpaid intern ships from hell, manipulative relationships, lacking or non-existent boundaries, etc.
To be clear, John isn’t a victim, John is a creator. You see, John has set the standard for his life, and by not respecting what he desires and requires, John has created a less-than-desired-and-required lifestyle for himself – he knows this.
You’re probably thinking “But how is this his fault, John has simply been screwed too many times,” and you’re right, but it’s important to recognize that John made the decision to accept the low/no-paying gigs, the unpaid internships from hell, the manipulative relationships, and the limitless boundaries, therefore; John has set the standard for what he desires and requires, and his environment reflects that.
Boundaries are a must, and, if ignored, a life of dissatisfaction will likely be the result. Set those boundaries John – set ’em strong, set ’em straight, set ’em clear, and watch satisfaction and respect pour into your life like a tropical monsoon.
You see, boundaries act as a sort of fence which we are to place around our open hearts. In order for you to create strong boundaries, you must create clarity around what it is that you believe you deserve, what it is you believe you are worthy of, and the non-negotiable things that you will invite onto the other side of that fence; the stronger and more clear your beliefs around what you deserve and what you are worthy of are, the stronger your fence. The more clear you are about the things you will not invite onto the other side of that fence, the easier it will be to see them coming, and turn them away: “No thank you; return to sender.”
Respect is earned. Some believe that fear equates to respect, but I believe that respect is earned and born as a result of love, trust, and wisdom; if you embody these attributes, you will receive deep admiration. The way to achieve respect is to practice love, share wisdom, and build trust with those you come in contact with. Listen, engage, connect, contribute, and serve; these are some of the easiest ways to earn respect from those around you.
Now for the fun part! A practice for defining your boundaries and inviting respect.
Start by creating a “I Am Worthy Of/I Deserve List”, take a deep breath, connect with your inner child, and love it by writing a list of all the things it is worthy of (love, respect, clean drinking water, food, clothing, happiness, abundance, etc). Then, below that list, create a “Return To Sender” list, and write down all of the non-negotiable things you will not invite or accept in your life. Finally, take that list and put it somewhere where you can see it regularly and refer to it. Eventually, this list will become a part of your daily practice, and you may find that you need it less and less.
Feels good when it’s in writing doesn’t it!?
If this has served you in some way, and/or you feel you know someone who it would help on their journey, I invite you to share it with them – they’ll thank you for it.
“When it rains, it pours.” – Ain’t that the truth.
Not sure who coined the phrase, but there’s significant depth and truth to this statement.
It seems the day you sleep in ends up being the day that you’re forced to take a cold shower, you burn your breakfast, you spill coffee on your shirt, you end up stuck in traffic, you workload feels overwhelming, you find people to be increasingly irritating, and you feel like you can’t seem to catch a break.
On the flip side.
It seems the day you intentionally wake-up happy is also the day you decide to fit a morning workout into your schedule, you have a healthy breakfast, you meditate, you take a more scenic route to work, you can’t seem to stop smiling and humming your favourite tune, you score a big account/client, you find opportunities falling into your lap, you feel in-flow with life, and you’ve made best friends with gratitude and abundance.
One of life’s fundamental truths is that the energy you create and exert into the environment is the energy that you will receive. Some call it Karma, others make reference to The Law of Attraction, and Newton’s Third Law of Motion. Simply put; what goes around comes around, and what you put out into the Universe, you get back.
Take this principle and apply it to the aforementioned scenarios, and it truly does pour when it rains, but it’s all about perspective.
Are you singing in the rain, or sulking in the storm?
It’s not by chance that good things seem to happen all at once, as do bad things. And, if you’re someone who believes there’s something to this whole Karma/Law of Attraction/Law of Motion business, then you know that you attract what you exude. What I’ve come to discover, and I believe this is true for many of you, is that when I make a decision to catch a ride on a negative thought or scenario, its friends seem to follow (kinda like when you pluck a grey hair). The same is true for positive thoughts and scenarios.
Spiritual peeps call the result of this phenomenon “manifestation”; meaning your thoughts create your reality. I refer to it by its many titles. Potato Po-tat-o, tomato to-mat-o; the proof is in the pudding.
Recognizing and accepting where you’re at is one thing, but choosing to dwell in that space and that energy for an extended period of time is simply an invitation to receive more of that same energy. Recognizing, honouring, accepting and making a conscious decision around how you wish to move forward (in a productive and proactive manner) gives you the power, and who doesn’t like empowerment.
So! The good stuff. Ready to escape “the suck” and manifest good luck!? Here are some tips on how to make it happen captain:
When you feel yourself slipping into a negative space and mindset, PAUSE, take a deep breath (or a few), acknowledge the thought and/or the place you’re in (don’t ignore it; what you resist persists).
Ask yourself who is having the thoughts. Get this… you’re not your thoughts; they’re clouds passing in the wind.
Make a conscious decision (aloud if you’re feeling bold) not to dwell in that place or take a ride with those negative thoughts (NO THANK YOU!).
Invite more positivity and gratitude into your head and heart. One of my favourite things to do is express the many things I’m grateful for and the things I have to look forward to, in writing or aloud. Oprah helps too.
Remember your thoughts influence your feelings, your feelings influence your actions, and your actions create your reality. YOU ARE THE CREATOR. Own it. Take it back.
If all else fails, crank the tunes to your favourite song, and drop that shit like a hot potato! Who doesn’t love a good solo danceparty. WOOP WOOP!
Remember, this is an exercise and a practice, so you must keep at it.
To be grown-up, or be a grown-up or an adult; what does it mean? Think about that for a moment…
Remember when you were a kid and you used to play house or grown-up, which was ironically close to the real thing (arguments over what to name the baby, whether to get a dog or a cat, who would work and who would stay home, what would be prepared for dinner, etc), minus all of the prolonged stress. The only difference is, when you were a kid, you could just stop playing grown-up and go back to being a kid again.
If only life were like that… Guess what. I’ve learned that it sorta is.
See, being a grown-up/adult definitely has its perks, but it seems to come with a lot of unwanted BS – I wanted to say uninvited, but let’s be honest; we may not want the BS, but we totally invite that sh*t in for tea and toast. But I digress.
When you were a kid, you did much of what you wanted, and little of what you didn’t want (unless you were commanded to do so). When you were a kid, it was all about imagination, fun, creativity, connection, happiness, experience, and play. When you were a kid you created your world. A stick was a magic wand, and a jungle-gym was a spaceship that could transport you to the moon, or back in time to the prehistoric era. Snow hills were mountains, and you were ready to conquer them. You didn’t watch the clock, you came in when it got dark out. You didn’t text your friends to hang, you went and knocked on their damn door. If you weren’t into it, you let it fall to the wayside. You spoke and lived your untainted and untethered truth, and it got you into trouble sometimes. Nevertheless, the world was your oyster.
When did you stop playing? Why did you stop having fun? When did you become so unhappy?
The only difference between then and now is the reality you’ve chosen to project onto your surroundings, the lifestyle you’ve created for yourself, and the stories you’ve continued to tell yourself in order to keep you from LIVING. It’s not entirely your fault.
It’s my belief that we enter this world innocent, perfectly-imperfect, and whole. Upon our grand entrance we begin the human conditioning process, and it’s all kind of a blur from there. But, if you’re lucky enough to be one of the individuals who develops an awareness, a mindfulness, and a consciousness, somewhere along the way you begin to wake up; you’re suddenly called to “stop and smell the flowers”, and do more of the cool sh*t that fills you to the point where your cup spilleth over and you begin to inspire others. Sounds like a bunch of psycho bibble-babble, but all it means is that you stop living under the tyranny of people pleasing and of your thoughts – fear and worry and resistance – and start living in the present moment. It means you respectfully say f*ck it to what happened in the past, you stay open to what may happen in the future, but you exist in the now, and you simply BE and DO YOU. Pretty cool eh!?
What does this have to do with being a big kid!?
That child-like sense of freedom and zest for life, love, experience, happiness, and truth hasn’t left you, it’s just been in a deep slumber, waiting for you to wake it up. You’ll hear it speak to you from time to time – sometimes in whispers, other times in shouts – but you’re not always in a place to acknowledge, honour, and receive it, so it goes back to being quiet again – sleeping. It’ll show itself in those moments where you feel most alive; where you’re totally yourself; where you lose track of time and you’re in the zone. For some it may be cooking, swimming, or writing. For others it may be spending time in nature, gardening, or making music. I challenge you to be conscious of those moments and what you’re feeling and what’s happening around you. That’s your sweet spot.
So kiddo! What’ll it be!?
You ready to wake up, start living, and do more of what lights you up and less of what doesn’t? You ready to speak and live your truth, no matter how uncomfortable and scary it may seem? You ready to stop lying to yourself and move beyond the many limiting stories and beliefs your mind would have you fall for?
Start by asking yourself this question: “What do you really want?” I challenge you to spend some time with that question and then share your answers in the comments below. There’s no stupid or wrong answer; go deep and honour yourself by really showing up while you search for your truth. This is the first step outside of your comfort zone and into living the kind of life you were put on this Earth to live.