What’s clear to me is our insatiable desire to see and be seen, to hear and heard, to feel and be felt, to experience and be experienced, to understand and be understood, to validate and be validated, and to accept and be accepted – fully and entirely.
In essence: to be loved. It all comes back to love.
The human experience.
But they may never see, hear, feel, experience, understand, validate, or accept you in the way you desire.
In essence: love you – the way you desire.
So what do you do?
You do you – choose to strive, survive, live, or thrive.
You love you – gently and fiercely.
You say “f*ck ’em” – lovingly.
“I don’t need to be good enough for you – I’m good enough for me.”
You educate ’em – respectfully.
You love ’em – compassionately…
And so much so that you just had to let them know what’s up.
“I don’t know” vs. “I’m seeking an answer/solution”
“Why is this happening to me” vs. “How is this happening for me,” or “What can I learn from this,” and “How can I use this?”
The power of words is absolutely amazing! The divinely- eloquent Maya Angelou best describes the power of words:
“Words are things. You must be careful, careful about calling people out of their names, using racial pejoratives and sexual pejoratives and all that ignorance. Don’t do that. Some day we’ll be able to measure the power of words. I think they are things. They get on the walls. They get in your wallpaper. They get in your rugs, in your upholstery, and your clothes, and finally in to you.” – Maya Angelou
Think about it… A single word or combination of words has the power to completely change the way a person feels, thinks, or functions. Furthermore, a person’s perception of words can both help and hinder. The word “can’t” has the power to keep a person “stuck”, and to cripple a person through to their insides.
The words “I don’t know” have the power to defeat a person dead in their steps, unless they follow with an intention such as “but, I’m looking for an answer.” The words “Why is this happening to me” can completely dis-empower a person and INSTANTLY transform them into a victim. An empowering re-frame could look something like “I’m not sure why this is happening to me, but I’m open to discovering how I can use it.”
With the same unyielding force, words also have the power to deliver you to a place of rapture, of resilience, of Divinity.
“How can I” cracks your mind right open to let delicious and Divine wisdom pour into that beautiful brain of yours.
“I’m choosing not to” puts you (consciously) behind the wheel of your decisions, and there’s really no better place to be.
“I’m seeking an answer” sweeps you off your feet and takes you on an enlightening and expansive adventure.
“How is this happening for me, and what can I learn from this” takes you from fear to “fuck it, let’s do something beautiful with this,” and doesn’t that sound so much better than the more dis-empowering version.
Time to put your ass where you heart is…
In the comments below, I CHALLENGE YOU to share an experience where re-framing your language transformed your view, AND I’d love for you to share what word(s) you replaced and how they created a shift. Remember, your feedback is valued and may serve others, and your courage gives others permission to be courageous as well.
If this post was of value to you, I invite you to click below and share it with those who you think would receive its depth and deliciousness.
My morning commute to and from my bridge job is an enlightening one.
I watch as a fuster-cluck of drivers honk, curse, and hustle to promptly arrive at the jobs they despise, in the vehicles that their jobs pay for. I watch my fellow bus riders struggle, frustrated and agitated because they can’t seem to get the sensor-equipped doors open, while I shake my head and stare at the yellow sign, which clearly instructs to apply both hands to the door.
That hour that we spend alone in our cars or on the bus could possibly be the most peaceful, relaxing, and inspiring hour of our entire day – some of my best writing is done on the bus – but we choose to spend it in a frenzy, attempting to part the sea of cars with our horns and gestures, or digging into the addictive negativity that is the newspaper, or gawking over the seemingly-perfect lives of our Facebook friends, further perpetuating “the suck” that we perceive our lives to be.
That frustration and agitation that we create, as a result of the “failed” technology – also known as sensor-equipped bus doors – developed to make our lives easier, and the time and energy we waste bitching and complaining about the many shitty drives and the poor infrastructure, could be avoided by simply paying attention to the clearly-provided instructions, or accepting the fact that we’ve all got somewhere to be, and we’ll get there when we get there… but we’d much rather kick and scream our way to work.
One can’t help but think that we’ve become addicted to the negativity and non-sense, for if that weren’t the case, we’d simply slow down, or stop to smell the flowers as they say….
I sit, all up in my head, watching, wondering, thinking; making metaphors out of morning commutes – and then it hits me:
My morning commute is a metaphor for life.
The hustle and the struggle. Struggling to open doors of opportunity and abundance, when the instructions are clear as day. Hustling, honking, cursing, and stressing our way through life; convinced we’re the only ones who have places to go, things to do, and people to see. This is unconsciousness at its best – we’re awake and yet still sleeping.
In the morning, don’t just “wake up”; be AWAKENED. There’s magic in the morning commute, if you’re present enough to notice it. How you begin your day is a reflection of how you’re likely to continue the rest of your day. Use that time to inspire and be inspired. Use that time to channel your creative genius, or awaken your mind and soul. Let the flow of the morning capture your senses. Don’t just wake up; WAKE UP!
Here are 5 tips for a more peaceful and productive morning commute:
2. If you’re on the bus, do some consciously corny crap (I poke fun at the Kool-Aid, cause I drink it) like stare out the bus window and allow your thoughts and ideas to flow. Be aware of your surroundings; take in all the sights and let them fuel your imagination and your soul. Those moments served as inspiration for this post.
3. Use your smartphone, tablet, or – dare I say – a pen and paper to write down thoughts and ideas you may have been dreaming up, for example: Things I Want To Do Before I Die; Things I Am Grateful For; Places I Want To Experience In This Lifetime.
4. Realize that honking, shouting, cursing, or getting up to go bitch at the bus driver isn’t going to get you anywhere any faster – the same way your counter-productive habits and negative actions are not going to lead to a happier, more peaceful and more productive life. Seriously though. I want you to really think about the last time any of the above served you in a positive and/or productive manner… Save it for the gym or the punching bag, or channel it into a blog post – “10 Reasons I Loathe The Morning Commute”.
5. Use music to ignite your soul and take you places you’ve longed to explore. Take a audibly-delicious trip down memory lane, or keep up with the newest tunes by downloading one of your favourite albums and jamming out. People may look at you like your nuts, but we’re all technically nuts, and the morning commute culture is simple/complex proof of that.
“When it rains, it pours.” – Ain’t that the truth.
Not sure who coined the phrase, but there’s significant depth and truth to this statement.
It seems the day you sleep in ends up being the day that you’re forced to take a cold shower, you burn your breakfast, you spill coffee on your shirt, you end up stuck in traffic, you workload feels overwhelming, you find people to be increasingly irritating, and you feel like you can’t seem to catch a break.
On the flip side.
It seems the day you intentionally wake-up happy is also the day you decide to fit a morning workout into your schedule, you have a healthy breakfast, you meditate, you take a more scenic route to work, you can’t seem to stop smiling and humming your favourite tune, you score a big account/client, you find opportunities falling into your lap, you feel in-flow with life, and you’ve made best friends with gratitude and abundance.
One of life’s fundamental truths is that the energy you create and exert into the environment is the energy that you will receive. Some call it Karma, others make reference to The Law of Attraction, and Newton’s Third Law of Motion. Simply put; what goes around comes around, and what you put out into the Universe, you get back.
Take this principle and apply it to the aforementioned scenarios, and it truly does pour when it rains, but it’s all about perspective.
Are you singing in the rain, or sulking in the storm?
It’s not by chance that good things seem to happen all at once, as do bad things. And, if you’re someone who believes there’s something to this whole Karma/Law of Attraction/Law of Motion business, then you know that you attract what you exude. What I’ve come to discover, and I believe this is true for many of you, is that when I make a decision to catch a ride on a negative thought or scenario, its friends seem to follow (kinda like when you pluck a grey hair). The same is true for positive thoughts and scenarios.
Spiritual peeps call the result of this phenomenon “manifestation”; meaning your thoughts create your reality. I refer to it by its many titles. Potato Po-tat-o, tomato to-mat-o; the proof is in the pudding.
Recognizing and accepting where you’re at is one thing, but choosing to dwell in that space and that energy for an extended period of time is simply an invitation to receive more of that same energy. Recognizing, honouring, accepting and making a conscious decision around how you wish to move forward (in a productive and proactive manner) gives you the power, and who doesn’t like empowerment.
So! The good stuff. Ready to escape “the suck” and manifest good luck!? Here are some tips on how to make it happen captain:
When you feel yourself slipping into a negative space and mindset, PAUSE, take a deep breath (or a few), acknowledge the thought and/or the place you’re in (don’t ignore it; what you resist persists).
Ask yourself who is having the thoughts. Get this… you’re not your thoughts; they’re clouds passing in the wind.
Make a conscious decision (aloud if you’re feeling bold) not to dwell in that place or take a ride with those negative thoughts (NO THANK YOU!).
Invite more positivity and gratitude into your head and heart. One of my favourite things to do is express the many things I’m grateful for and the things I have to look forward to, in writing or aloud. Oprah helps too.
Remember your thoughts influence your feelings, your feelings influence your actions, and your actions create your reality. YOU ARE THE CREATOR. Own it. Take it back.
If all else fails, crank the tunes to your favourite song, and drop that shit like a hot potato! Who doesn’t love a good solo danceparty. WOOP WOOP!
Remember, this is an exercise and a practice, so you must keep at it.