When you’re in the business of looking and feeling good, there’s a sort of looming anxiety that occurs when you begin to disembody the very essence you propagate – when you suddenly cease to practice that which you preach.
“Who am I to suggest this to others?”
“Am I a fraud if…?”
And, to add insult to injury, you slowly begin to “lose touch” (not to be mistaken with sight, because it’s staring you right in the face) – with yourself and with this experience called Life, and with All That Is.
“If I’ve stopped doing what I do, am I who I am? Who am I?”
This is a beautiful place to be, and these are beautiful questions to be asking.
The recognition of your sudden disconnection from that which fertilizes the crop that is your soul – practice – is a sign that there is no disconnection. This recognition signifies a call for clarity, a journey home, and a return to basics.
“In order to be more of who you were, you need to do what you did.”
Daily practice was and is and will be an integral part of my life – a part of my life that, when consistently honoured and applied, allows me to fully show up. It’s the difference between a shitty day and an amazing one. It’s the difference between me locking my fucking keys in the house, and me consciously flowing through my daily tasks. The catch though is that when I’m honouring and applying these daily practices, it becomes such a natural thing that life can creep up and convince you that one or two or more days missed will not make a difference in your life. Suddenly you’ve fallen off the proverbial wagon… I had done just that.
“There was this love and light and energy that I emanated, and it spilled over into everyone and everything I came into contact with. What if I never experience that again?”
I took a good look around, a good look inward, and, a few insightful conversations later, it had become crystal clear that it had little to do with who I was with or where I was. Not to say that it was completely gone, but somewhere along the way I had let go of the practices that allowed me to experience and embody and exude the love and light and energy that spilled over into everyone and everything I came into contact with – exercise, meditation, prayer, creation, deep conversation, self-inquiry, contemplation, reflection, visualization, service, fellowship. I was still able to conduct myself in such a way that allowed me to be of service to others – those who can’t do teach – but it wasn’t the same. I wasn’t the same. I wasn’t the version of me that I aspired to be – my best version of me.
BOOM! That was it. The daily practice returned like it was going out of style, and the love and light and energy that I emanated and that spilled over into everyone and everything I came into contact with returned with a vengeance. I experienced life from the inside-out. I connected with people from the inside-out. I felt music from the inside-out. I witnessed nature from the inside out. I connected with All That Is from the the inside-out.
Simple, yet not. Profound, yet obvious. 3 words.
Back. To. Basics.
Where are you feeling out of alignment? Can you recall a time where you felt in alignment and in flow? What were YOU doing? Who were YOU being? From experience, I recognize that it’s natural to contribute feelings to circumstances, experiences, and individuals, but the truth is that those feelings could not exist if they were not already present within you, no matter how deep. Your bliss does not lie in the hands of others. Your bliss is found within – a by-product of the soul. It’s that describably-indescribable space that is the link between the Human Experience and the soul. Bliss is like a a seed – you must feed it and water it and nurture it and love it until it blossoms into a full-grown, and when it does, you must continue to feed it and water it and nurture it and love it, as you would pet, or a plant, or a child – your inner child.
What daily practices are you committed to honouring in the name of self-love and bliss? They work if you work ’em! 😉
Upon reflection I realize that I’ve been “unknowingly” applying these practices and laws for as long as I can remember. I use the term “unknowingly” very loosely, because I believe in the innate wisdom of the soul.
One of my most memorable experiences with The Law of Attraction happened a couple of years ago, but I didn’t realize what I had fulfilled until after the fact.
It was the first day of class, and we all sat around the perimeter, eyeing each other up and making judgements about who we’d likely become close with, and who might be our competition. The program coordinators had us go around the classroom and share our intentions and expectations during and following the program. Many seemed certain, and some hadn’t a clue, and finally there was me. I ambitiously and matter-of-factly stated “I’m going to finish the program and secure an internship with a fashion PR company and move to Toronto.” I had absolutely no idea what I was talking about, but it sounded cool and I believed it was possible.
As the months went on, I imagine the seed of that intention sat, untouched, until Spring – how fitting.
It was time to begin addressing our internships, as we would soon begin applying to businesses and playing an active role in determining our futures. Again, I stated that I would not be applying locally, which would mean that I would not have the help of the internship coordinator, and that I would take it upon myself to coordinate the process. I’m quite positive that everyone felt this was a bold move on my part, and I could feel the energy shift when I would explain my decision to some of my peers, but that didn’t stop me from treading on.
I stumbled upon an ad for an internship position with a start-up in Toronto, Ontario, and I applied for the position. To demonstrate my abilities, I was asked to put together a document for a potential client of the company, and, despite my anxiety around my experience, I completed it with flying colours, and I was offered the position. Because my program didn’t end until September, and I was asked to start much sooner, I had to bravely ask if it were possible that a spot be left open for me until then, and I would continue to help from home in the meantime, to which I was accommodated.
It all seemed very surreal, and I still didn’t fully comprehend the fact that in just several short months I might be on an airplane to Toronto to fulfill my dreams of thriving in the big city.
To put things into perspective for you, I was barely managing on the money I had from my student loan, and I was working part-time, so I was really fuckin’ winging it, but I was a man with a plan and I had already gotten a taste, so I wasn’t about to give up.
I recall having a deep conversation with my uncle where he reasoned with me to make sure that I was in the right frame of mind about the move. He assured me that at this point I really had nothing to lose, because I could go out there, and even if I came back, I’d be no further behind than I was when I left, and that this was probably the perfect time in my life to make such a bold decision.
As summer flew by and quickly came to an end, I began packing my things, and giving many of them away. My father had agreed to let me move in with him and stay on his couch until I was settled into the city, so it was just me, $200, my backpack, and my suitcase. I can still remember the tides of emotions that rise in and out during the week leading up to my departure. There were certainly moments where I thought it impossible for me to leave my beloved home behind, but this was something I had to do for me, and a force was pulling me East.
True to form, I rushed to the airport that evening, and hugged my best friend goodbye. You could see the sadness in his skin, and feel it in his vibration. It was almost as if the city itself was sad to see me leave, and I too, its biggest cheerleader, was sad to leave it. Two of my friends had met me at the airport to see me off, and I couldn’t have felt more loved. I boarded the plane, and I was on my way…
Baseball diamond after baseball diamond, and so many lights. We were approaching the big city, and I was still in shock. I hadn’t found anyone to pick me up from the airport, so I was convinced I would be taking a cab or some other form of public transportation. Luckily, my sister had made arrangements with my friend to come and pick me up. I hadn’t seen her in YEARS, and yet it felt like only yesterday I had seen her. I arrived at my dad’s, where the three of us shared a space – ambitious, I know. I barely settled in, chatted with them, and went to bed.
The next morning was painful. As I write, I can vividly recall the sadness and depression I was feeling. I wanted to pull the blankets over my head and sleep forever. I couldn’t help but wonder if moving there had been a huge mistake. “Nope. You didn’t come here for this. It’s time to get up and get on with the day.” So I did.
The weeks and months to come were interesting. I dove deep, face first into my spirituality, and began an internal journey that nobody would’ve imagined. I began writing more frequently and sharing the many miracles and insights of my experience with those back home. In hindsight, I realize this was just one of many heroes journeys within one vast heroes journey. I was living out “The Alchemist” (if you haven’t read it, you must).
I can recall stepping out of my comfort zone to anxiously approach a familiar face; a model whose career I had followed on YouTube for years. I quickly became friends with her and her dear friend Jules, and before I knew it we were sitting around a table having wine and talking as if we’d known each other for ages. My hip-hop dance teacher from years ago would later walk in; even more shocking because I’m not from Toronto, and for me to run into two familiar faces within an hour seems unheard of. Miraculous.
While my internship had started off questionable, but tolerable, because I was impressionable and open to learning, I had quickly realized that my values would not fit into what seemed to be a more cut-throat environment than I was comfortable being a part of. I decided it was time to plan an out, while honouring my commitment to the tasks at hand.
Through an email interaction with a woman who would offer me an internship opportunity and then later suggest that I might be more interested in interning with a friend of hers, I would find myself connecting with some of the fashion industry’s biggest players, and participating in the coordination of fashion events. Things seemed to continue unfolding in ways I couldn’t fully comprehend.
Frequently checking my inbox to see if any opportunities had come up, I received an email from one of Toronto’s top PR companies inviting me to come in for an interview. I couldn’t believe it. I threw myself into learning the ins and outs of the company and its staff. I remember sitting down in my interview, and later hearing how shocked the interviewer was that I had seen and done so much, and met so many people in that city in such a short time. I was sure I had nailed it, and what would come would seal the deal.
A friend of mine very nonchalantly invited me to an event, and suggested that I dress up. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I was excited. We met outside a large building, where security and doormen awaited guests. As we entered the building, I realized this wasn’t just any event. We were asked for our names, and greeted with champagne. I looked across the room and saw a familiar face. It was the man who had interviewed me days ago. The PR company he worked for, and I had interviewed at, was handling the event. He was shocked to see me there. “You sure do get around don’t ya,” he said jokingly. Believe me, I was as surprised as he was. That night I would rub shoulders with many of the who’s who of the local fashion, entertainment, and media industries. I felt like a fish out of water, but you couldn’t tell by looking at me. People seemed to love the glimmer in my eyes, and the naivete and light I exuded.
Spirituality became a major part of my life as events continued to unfold, and I continued to learn more and more about myself. Never had I been surrounded by so many people and felt so alone. But, it did me good. I found inspiration in moments of solitude, and I spent much of my time in meditation, contemplation, prayer, and deep thought. An inward journey that ignited a blazing fire within me. The phoenix hath risen.
Though it came as a surprise to many, considering my success in the big city, it became more and more clear that it wasn’t a place I’d want to plant roots, though I’d certainly want to visit again and again. Two short months into the experience, I would make a bold decision that would change my life in ways I would have never imagined. I decided to return home.
Intuition and instinct have guided me much of my life, and I’ve trusted my soul to guide me most times, which to some may seem fickle, but to those who understand me, it makes perfect sense.
Had I not returned home, much of what has come to be might not be so. I’ve now made much of my life about my relationship with myself, with my soul, with God, and with people. Transformation – through inspiration, motivation, and information – has become a gift I have recognized within myself, and I’ve shared it with others. I’ve become a sort of healer and mentor and teacher – my life being the class.
It’s interesting that I sit here and write this, when just a year ago today, I was packing up to return home in honour of instinct and intuition. People would suggest that I might be making a mistake, or that I hadn’t given it enough time and thought, but they would still support me.
I was sure that I was making the right decision, and my soul was singing at the simple thought of returning home. I remember the moment I arrived and jumped off the plane; I was lit up from the inside-out; a feeling I would come to experience more and more. Call it coincidence or fate, but that very feeling of inside-out illumination has become much of my purpose in life – a lesson I had to leave home and return in order to learn. And here were are today.
Plant a seed of intention. Nourish it with consciousness and action. Watch it grow. You will reap what you sow.
This is the power of intention and The Law of Attraction.
In my life I’ve met people from all walks. Healers, drug addicts, musicians, professors, escorts, social workers, and the list goes on. I’ve moved from ghettos to government housing to small-town homes only blocks from a lake. I’ve attended about a handful of different schools, which meant I had to get really good at making new friends, adjusting to new settings, and understanding how people and environments operate and function.
Cut to adulthood and “social intelligence” is my number one strength according to a strengths test I recently took; this came as no surprise, all things considered. When I was young, people used to tell me I was too smart for my own good, or I knew too much for my own good; I imagine they meant to protect me. Turns out the one thing I was criticized for as a young boy would be the quality that would allow me to survive the constant changes in my life, and shape my life’s mission and purpose.
Funny how that happens eh. 😉
As a result, I’ve gotten really good at receiving people and environments in an empathetic and deeply intuitive way. I experience the energy of their being and their surroundings in a way that I’ve come to discover not everyone does. This has lead to some profound lessons about how we tend to get on in this world; a lesson validated by the many other’s who’ve expressed similar insight…
The way we live in one area of our lives is going to affect how we live in other areas of our lives.
If you let one area of your life go to shit, the others will suffer as a result. The way you treat your surroundings – people, places, things – is often a reflection of how you measure your self-value.
It’s not uncommon that things looks shiny and perfect on the surface or from the outside, but the inside reflects the opposite – sometimes the outside does match the inside, or it eventually will. Your yard is a picture of perfection, but the house is a mess. Your car is sparkling, but the inside looks as if you’ve been living in it. How does this reflect you as a being?
The food we put into our bodies, the content we view, the people we associate with, the places we spend time, the way we treat our possessions, the way our homes are kept; all these things are reflections of our values.
Did you make your bed this morning? Are your clothes folded? Are your living areas tidy? Is your vehicle clean? Have you had a healthy meal? Did you take time to meditate or relax? Have you exercised?
I’m not perfect. Even as I write this, I’ve got a room to clean and clothes to put away, so I’ve made today a “me” day. I expect that every once in a while I may fall behind, but it has become less and less as I’ve began to realize everything I’ve just shared, and I make a conscious effort to stay on top of things in order to optimize my life.
What’s one thing you can do NOW, TODAY, that would help you move forward in creating a life that reflects your desired lifestyle and your best self? Share in the comments below, and let’s make that happen!
“How you do anything is how you do everything.” – T. Harv Eker