Personal & Self-Development – Page 2

You’re Moments From A Miracle & 30-Days From Your Wildest Dreams

Posted on November 10, 2014April 12, 2020 by itjustgotreno

I’m not enough.

I’m not good enough.

I don’t know enough.

I’m not ready.

What if I fail?

What will they say?

What will they think?

One more book.

One more course.

One more webinar.

One more workshop.

One more day.

One more week.

One more year.

*Sigh*

How did you arrive in this place?

Heavy.

Spinning.

Gasping.

Flailing.

Stuck.

Shackled by the very thing you believe will set you free.

There’s hope.

But you must lean in.

You must lean and lean and lean deeper; all the way into YOU.

Take action.

Reflect.

Apply.

Embody.

Repeat.

Do. Pause. Be.

I’ve been on a conscious, much-desired, and much-required hiatus. 30-day information cleanse. 3-month coaching program. Post-treatment communion with my mother. Familial rejuvenation and repair. Divine appointments and agreements with those desiring my personal brand of inside-out transformation. A miraculous calling to write a book that could serve to elevate us all. If you haven’t taken time to restore, replenish, and renovate this year, I encourage you to do so – it’s absolutely uncomfortable, insightful, belief shattering, liberating, and blissful – if you have the balls, or lady-balls, to hang in there long enough and commit to self-love.

I sit here and write, a changed man. A bold and necessary statement. I committed to the journey, wanting to turn back at times, and I’ve broken through and transcended many of the walls and ceilings that would have me play small. I truly understand what it means to love oneself, trust oneself, and lean into oneself.

The moment I decided to remove the crutches of motivation and personal development, and stand on my own two feet, it became clear that I already possessed all the makings of an amazing and successful human and spiritual being. There is a place for personal development, otherwise I would not be who I am or do what I do, but when it becomes more “can’t function without it” and less “dig it and do it”, you may find yourself less liberated and independent than you may think – “It’s personal development, it must be doing more good than harm.” Not always true. Moderation baby. Mod-er-ation.

Delete. Unsubscribe. Delete. Unsubscribe. Delete. Every email. Every blog. All of it, for 30-days. Didn’t need it. Thought I did. But, after 30 days, I brought some of it back, because it serves me, and I can handle it now – I respect it. It wasn’t so much about getting rid of it all. Information for me kinda became like an addiction to food. I’d consume and consume and consume, as if there would soon be no more; hardly allowing it to digest or using it for fuel. I realize telling you this could be career suicide, but I believe in service and in you, and in myself, so much that I’ve made it my business to be genuine and transparent – we’re building a relationship here.

More love. More light. More bliss. More me.

Not even 30 days in, it was as if I could do anything. Scratch that; I COULD do anything. Scratch that; I CAN do anything. I now look to those who I came to adore and follow as inspirational muses and mentors and peers who I will someday join at “the top”, or whatever we’re calling it these days. For now, I’m exactly who I need to be, I’m exactly where I need to be, and I couldn’t be happier.

What’s holding you back? What’s keeping you shackled and stuck? What stories are you still telling yourself? What’s dying to be dug up, seen, heard, expressed, and released?

Would you like some help with that? You, the people, are my purpose.

It’s time to get honest. If I can do it, believe me, you can get ‘er fucking done. As sure as you are sitting here reading this, you have the chutzpah, zest, balls, pizazz, and all that other innate goodness that’s required to be your best, boldest, and baddest self.

With Love & Light,

Your New Year’s Revolution Starts Now!

Posted on October 6, 2014April 12, 2020 by itjustgotreno

In my life I’ve met people from all walks. Healers, drug addicts, musicians, professors, escorts, social workers, and the list goes on. I’ve moved from ghettos to government housing to small-town homes only blocks from a lake. I’ve attended about a handful of different schools, which meant I had to get really good at making new friends, adjusting to new settings, and understanding how people and environments operate and function.

Cut to adulthood and “social intelligence” is my number one strength according to a strengths test I recently took; this came as no surprise, all things considered. When I was young, people used to tell me I was too smart for my own good, or I knew too much for my own good; I imagine they meant to protect me. Turns out the one thing I was criticized for as a young boy would be the quality that would allow me to survive the constant changes in my life, and shape my life’s mission and purpose.

Funny how that happens eh. 😉

As a result, I’ve gotten really good at receiving people and environments in an empathetic and deeply intuitive way. I experience the energy of their being and their surroundings in a way that I’ve come to discover not everyone does. This has lead to some profound lessons about how we tend to get on in this world; a lesson validated by the many other’s who’ve expressed similar insight…

The way we live in one area of our lives is going to affect how we live in other areas of our lives.

If you let one area of your life go to shit, the others will suffer as a result. The way you treat your surroundings – people, places, things – is often a reflection of how you measure your self-value.

It’s not uncommon that things looks shiny and perfect on the surface or from the outside, but the inside reflects the opposite – sometimes the outside does match the inside, or it eventually will. Your yard is a picture of perfection, but the house is a mess. Your car is sparkling, but the inside looks as if you’ve been living in it. How does this reflect you as a being?

The food we put into our bodies, the content we view, the people we associate with, the places we spend time, the way we treat our possessions, the way our homes are kept; all these things are reflections of our values.

Did you make your bed this morning? Are your clothes folded? Are your living areas tidy? Is your vehicle clean? Have you had a healthy meal? Did you take time to meditate or relax? Have you exercised?

I’m not perfect. Even as I write this, I’ve got a room to clean and clothes to put away, so I’ve made today a “me” day. I expect that every once in a while I may fall behind, but it has become less and less as I’ve began to realize everything I’ve just shared, and I make a conscious effort to stay on top of things in order to optimize my life.

What’s one thing you can do NOW, TODAY, that would help you move forward in creating a life that reflects your desired lifestyle and your best self? Share in the comments below, and let’s make that happen!

“How you do anything is how you do everything.” – T. Harv Eker

With Love & Light,

F.O.M.O. – Fear Of Missing Out & The BS We Tell Ourselves

Posted on September 29, 2014April 12, 2020 by itjustgotreno

“A taste of something sweet is always sweetest when it’s savoured.

A taste of many things is wasted if you can’t enjoy each flavour.” – Reno

It’s eating away at you.

“What if?”

Would’a, could’a, should’a

Might be

Could be

Would be

You give in.

It feels good…

and then it doesn’t.

It’s eating away at you.

“I could be here, but maybe I should be there.”

“I could be doing this, but instead I’ve chosen this.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have, but it felt good at the time.”

“Why do I keep doing this to myself?”

“It’s always the same.”

“Ugh.”

Guess what!?

There will be another party,

This is not the last good time.

Your true friends will all forgive you.

Everything will be just fine.

The men and women will keep coming,

And you’ll continue to burn and turn.

If you don’t enjoy what’s present,

Embrace the burn and prepare to learn.

The self-development workshops are many.

The networking events won’t quit.

The good times will always roll.

Quit believing your bullshit.

—

Cherish the moment, for it’s gone before you know it.

The Power of Words, & How Reframing Your Language Will Change Your Life FOREVER

Posted on September 22, 2014April 12, 2020 by itjustgotreno

“I can’t” vs. “How can I”

“I won’t” vs. “I’m choosing not to”

“I don’t know” vs. “I’m seeking an answer/solution”

“Why is this happening to me” vs. “How is this happening for me,” or “What can I learn from this,” and “How can I use this?”

The power of words is absolutely amazing! The divinely- eloquent Maya Angelou best describes the power of words:

“Words are things. You must be careful, careful about calling people out of their names, using racial pejoratives and sexual pejoratives and all that ignorance. Don’t do that. Some day we’ll be able to measure the power of words. I think they are things. They get on the walls. They get in your wallpaper. They get in your rugs, in your upholstery, and your clothes, and finally in to you.” – Maya Angelou

Think about it… A single word or combination of words has the power to completely change the way a person feels, thinks, or functions. Furthermore, a person’s perception of words can both help and hinder. The word “can’t” has the power to keep a person “stuck”, and to cripple a person through to their insides.

The words “I don’t know” have the power to defeat a person dead in their steps, unless they follow with an intention such as “but, I’m looking for an answer.” The words “Why is this happening to me” can completely dis-empower a person and INSTANTLY transform them into a victim. An empowering re-frame could look something like “I’m not sure why this is happening to me, but I’m open to discovering how I can use it.”

With the same unyielding force, words also have the power to deliver you to a place of rapture, of resilience, of Divinity.

“How can I” cracks your mind right open to let delicious and Divine wisdom pour into that beautiful brain of yours.

“I’m choosing not to” puts you (consciously) behind the wheel of your decisions, and there’s really no better place to be.

“I’m seeking an answer” sweeps you off your feet and takes you on an enlightening and expansive adventure.

“How is this happening for me, and what can I learn from this” takes you from fear to “fuck it, let’s do something beautiful with this,” and doesn’t that sound so much better than the more dis-empowering version.

Time to put your ass where you heart is…

In the comments below, I CHALLENGE YOU to share an experience where re-framing your language transformed your view, AND I’d love for you to share what word(s) you replaced and how they created a shift. Remember, your feedback is valued and may serve others, and your courage gives others permission to be courageous as well.

If this post was of value to you, I invite you to click below and share it with those who you think would receive its depth and deliciousness.

With Love & Light,

De-FusterCluck Your Drive – How To Create A Peaceful & Productive Morning Commute

Posted on September 15, 2014April 12, 2020 by itjustgotreno

My morning commute to and from my bridge job is an enlightening one.

I watch as a fuster-cluck of drivers honk, curse, and hustle to promptly arrive at the jobs they despise, in the vehicles that their jobs pay for. I watch my fellow bus riders struggle, frustrated and agitated because they can’t seem to get the sensor-equipped doors open, while I shake my head and stare at the yellow sign, which clearly instructs to apply both hands to the door.

That hour that we spend alone in our cars or on the bus could possibly be the most peaceful, relaxing, and inspiring hour of our entire day – some of my best writing is done on the bus – but we choose to spend it in a frenzy, attempting to part the sea of cars with our horns and gestures, or digging into the addictive negativity that is the newspaper, or gawking over the seemingly-perfect lives of our Facebook friends, further perpetuating “the suck” that we perceive our lives to be.

That frustration and agitation that we create, as a result of the “failed” technology – also known as sensor-equipped bus doors – developed to make our lives easier, and the time and energy we waste bitching and complaining about the many shitty drives and the poor infrastructure, could be avoided by simply paying attention to the clearly-provided instructions, or accepting the fact that we’ve all got somewhere to be, and we’ll get there when we get there… but we’d much rather kick and scream our way to work.

One can’t help but think that we’ve become addicted to the negativity and non-sense, for if that weren’t the case, we’d simply slow down, or stop to smell the flowers as they say….

I sit, all up in my head, watching, wondering, thinking; making metaphors out of morning commutes – and then it hits me:

My morning commute is a metaphor for life.

The hustle and the struggle. Struggling to open doors of opportunity and abundance, when the instructions are clear as day. Hustling, honking, cursing, and stressing our way through life; convinced we’re the only ones who have places to go, things to do, and people to see. This is unconsciousness at its best – we’re awake and yet still sleeping.

In the morning, don’t just “wake up”; be AWAKENED. There’s magic in the morning commute, if you’re present enough to notice it. How you begin your day is a reflection of how you’re likely to continue the rest of your day. Use that time to inspire and be inspired. Use that time to channel your creative genius, or awaken your mind and soul. Let the flow of the morning capture your senses. Don’t just wake up; WAKE UP!

Here are 5 tips for a more peaceful and productive morning commute:

1. Search iTunes, Amazon, or your local library or bookstore for a good read, an audiobook, or a podcast – Some of my personal favourites are The Alchemist, The Untethered Soul, and The James Altucher Show. This suggested content alone has changed my life in ways the creators may never know.

2. If you’re on the bus, do some consciously corny crap (I poke fun at the Kool-Aid, cause I drink it) like stare out the bus window and allow your thoughts and ideas to flow. Be aware of your surroundings; take in all the sights and let them fuel your imagination and your soul. Those moments served as inspiration for this post.

3. Use your smartphone, tablet, or – dare I say – a pen and paper to write down thoughts and ideas you may have been dreaming up, for example: Things I Want To Do Before I Die; Things I Am Grateful For; Places I Want To Experience In This Lifetime.

4. Realize that honking, shouting, cursing, or getting up to go bitch at the bus driver isn’t going to get you anywhere any faster – the same way your counter-productive habits and negative actions are not going to lead to a happier, more peaceful and more productive life. Seriously though. I want you to really think about the last time any of the above served you in a positive and/or productive manner… Save it for the gym or the punching bag, or channel it into a blog post – “10 Reasons I Loathe The Morning Commute”.

5. Use music to ignite your soul and take you places you’ve longed to explore. Take a audibly-delicious trip down memory lane, or keep up with the newest tunes by downloading one of your favourite albums and jamming out. People may look at you like your nuts, but we’re all technically nuts, and the morning commute culture is simple/complex proof of that.

With Love, Light, & Compassion

Take. It. Back. – Boundaries, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, and How To Set ‘Em & Get ‘Em

Posted on September 7, 2014April 12, 2020 by itjustgotreno

I have this friend – we’ll call him John – and John struggles with boundaries. John’s favourite lines are “it’s all good”, “no worries”, and “it’s not an issue”. John’s the kinda guy who has chosen to accept the short end of the stick for a good portion of his young-adulthood/adulthood, and has suffered for it as a result – low/no-paying gigs, unpaid intern ships from hell, manipulative relationships, lacking or non-existent boundaries, etc.

To be clear, John isn’t a victim, John is a creator. You see, John has set the standard for his life, and by not respecting what he desires and requires, John has created a less-than-desired-and-required lifestyle for himself – he knows this.

You’re probably thinking “But how is this his fault, John has simply been screwed too many times,” and you’re right, but it’s important to recognize that John made the decision to accept the low/no-paying gigs, the unpaid internships from hell, the manipulative relationships, and the limitless boundaries, therefore; John has set the standard for what he desires and requires, and his environment reflects that.

Boundaries are a must, and, if ignored, a life of dissatisfaction will likely be the result. Set those boundaries John – set ’em strong, set ’em straight, set ’em clear, and watch satisfaction and respect pour into your life like a tropical monsoon.

You see, boundaries act as a sort of fence which we are to place around our open hearts. In order for you to create strong boundaries, you must create clarity around what it is that you believe you deserve, what it is you believe you are worthy of, and the non-negotiable things that you will invite onto the other side of that fence; the stronger and more clear your beliefs around what you deserve and what you are worthy of are, the stronger your fence. The more clear you are about the things you will not invite onto the other side of that fence, the easier it will be to see them coming, and turn them away: “No thank you; return to sender.”

Respect is earned. Some believe that fear equates to respect, but I believe that respect is earned and born as a result of love, trust, and wisdom; if you embody these attributes, you will receive deep admiration. The way to achieve respect is to practice love, share wisdom, and build trust with those you come in contact with. Listen, engage, connect, contribute, and serve; these are some of the easiest ways to earn respect from those around you.

Now for the fun part! A practice for defining your boundaries and inviting respect.

Start by creating a “I Am Worthy Of/I Deserve List”, take a deep breath, connect with your inner child, and love it by writing a list of all the things it is worthy of (love, respect, clean drinking water, food, clothing, happiness, abundance, etc). Then, below that list, create a “Return To Sender” list, and write down all of the non-negotiable things you will not invite or accept in your life. Finally, take that list and put it somewhere where you can see it regularly and refer to it. Eventually, this list will become a part of your daily practice, and you may find that you need it less and less.

Feels good when it’s in writing doesn’t it!?

If this has served you in some way, and/or you feel you know someone who it would help on their journey, I invite you to share it with them – they’ll thank you for it.

With Candour, Truth, and Love,

When It Rains, It Pours – How To Escape The Negative, Attract The Positive, & Flourish

Posted on September 7, 2014April 12, 2020 by itjustgotreno

“When it rains, it pours.” – Ain’t that the truth.

Not sure who coined the phrase, but there’s significant depth and truth to this statement.

It seems the day you sleep in ends up being the day that you’re forced to take a cold shower, you burn your breakfast, you spill coffee on your shirt, you end up stuck in traffic, you workload feels overwhelming, you find people to be increasingly irritating, and you feel like you can’t seem to catch a break.

On the flip side.

It seems the day you intentionally wake-up happy is also the day you decide to fit a morning workout into your schedule, you have a healthy breakfast, you meditate, you take a more scenic route to work, you can’t seem to stop smiling and humming your favourite tune, you score a big account/client, you find opportunities falling into your lap, you feel in-flow with life, and you’ve made best friends with gratitude and abundance.

One of life’s fundamental truths is that the energy you create and exert into the environment is the energy that you will receive. Some call it Karma, others make reference to The Law of Attraction, and Newton’s Third Law of Motion. Simply put; what goes around comes around, and what you put out into the Universe, you get back.

Take this principle and apply it to the aforementioned scenarios, and it truly does pour when it rains, but it’s all about perspective.

Are you singing in the rain, or sulking in the storm?

It’s not by chance that good things seem to happen all at once, as do bad things. And, if you’re someone who believes there’s something to this whole Karma/Law of Attraction/Law of Motion business, then you know that you attract what you exude. What I’ve come to discover, and I believe this is true for many of you, is that when I make a decision to catch a ride on a negative thought or scenario, its friends seem to follow (kinda like when you pluck a grey hair). The same is true for positive thoughts and scenarios.

Spiritual peeps call the result of this phenomenon “manifestation”; meaning your thoughts create your reality. I refer to it by its many titles. Potato Po-tat-o, tomato to-mat-o; the proof is in the pudding.

Recognizing and accepting where you’re at is one thing, but choosing to dwell in that space and that energy for an extended period of time is simply an invitation to receive more of that same energy. Recognizing, honouring, accepting and making a conscious decision around how you wish to move forward (in a productive and proactive manner) gives you the power, and who doesn’t like empowerment.

So! The good stuff. Ready to escape “the suck” and manifest good luck!? Here are some tips on how to make it happen captain:

When you feel yourself slipping into a negative space and mindset, PAUSE, take a deep breath (or a few), acknowledge the thought and/or the place you’re in (don’t ignore it; what you resist persists).
Ask yourself who is having the thoughts. Get this… you’re not your thoughts; they’re clouds passing in the wind.
Make a conscious decision (aloud if you’re feeling bold) not to dwell in that place or take a ride with those negative thoughts (NO THANK YOU!).
Invite more positivity and gratitude into your head and heart. One of my favourite things to do is express the many things I’m grateful for and the things I have to look forward to, in writing or aloud. Oprah helps too.
Remember your thoughts influence your feelings, your feelings influence your actions, and your actions create your reality. YOU ARE THE CREATOR. Own it. Take it back.
If all else fails, crank the tunes to your favourite song, and drop that shit like a hot potato! Who doesn’t love a good solo danceparty. WOOP WOOP!
Remember, this is an exercise and a practice, so you must keep at it.

With Love, Light, and Truth,

Why It’s Cool To Be A Kid – How To Escape Conformity & Have More Fun

Posted on September 7, 2014April 12, 2020 by itjustgotreno

To be grown-up, or be a grown-up or an adult; what does it mean? Think about that for a moment…

Remember when you were a kid and you used to play house or grown-up, which was ironically close to the real thing (arguments over what to name the baby, whether to get a dog or a cat, who would work and who would stay home, what would be prepared for dinner, etc), minus all of the prolonged stress. The only difference is, when you were a kid, you could just stop playing grown-up and go back to being a kid again.

If only life were like that… Guess what. I’ve learned that it sorta is.

See, being a grown-up/adult definitely has its perks, but it seems to come with a lot of unwanted BS – I wanted to say uninvited, but let’s be honest; we may not want the BS, but we totally invite that sh*t in for tea and toast. But I digress.

When you were a kid, you did much of what you wanted, and little of what you didn’t want (unless you were commanded to do so). When you were a kid, it was all about imagination, fun, creativity, connection, happiness, experience, and play. When you were a kid you created your world. A stick was a magic wand, and a jungle-gym was a spaceship that could transport you to the moon, or back in time to the prehistoric era. Snow hills were mountains, and you were ready to conquer them. You didn’t watch the clock, you came in when it got dark out. You didn’t text your friends to hang, you went and knocked on their damn door. If you weren’t into it, you let it fall to the wayside. You spoke and lived your untainted and untethered truth, and it got you into trouble sometimes. Nevertheless, the world was your oyster.

When did you stop playing? Why did you stop having fun? When did you become so unhappy?

The only difference between then and now is the reality you’ve chosen to project onto your surroundings, the lifestyle you’ve created for yourself, and the stories you’ve continued to tell yourself in order to keep you from LIVING. It’s not entirely your fault.

It’s my belief that we enter this world innocent, perfectly-imperfect, and whole. Upon our grand entrance we begin the human conditioning process, and it’s all kind of a blur from there. But, if you’re lucky enough to be one of the individuals who develops an awareness, a mindfulness, and a consciousness, somewhere along the way you begin to wake up; you’re suddenly called to “stop and smell the flowers”, and do more of the cool sh*t that fills you to the point where your cup spilleth over and you begin to inspire others. Sounds like a bunch of psycho bibble-babble, but all it means is that you stop living under the tyranny of people pleasing and of your thoughts – fear and worry and resistance – and start living in the present moment. It means you respectfully say f*ck it to what happened in the past, you stay open to what may happen in the future, but you exist in the now, and you simply BE and DO YOU. Pretty cool eh!?

What does this have to do with being a big kid!?

That child-like sense of freedom and zest for life, love, experience, happiness, and truth hasn’t left you, it’s just been in a deep slumber, waiting for you to wake it up. You’ll hear it speak to you from time to time – sometimes in whispers, other times in shouts – but you’re not always in a place to acknowledge, honour, and receive it, so it goes back to being quiet again – sleeping. It’ll show itself in those moments where you feel most alive; where you’re totally yourself; where you lose track of time and you’re in the zone. For some it may be cooking, swimming, or writing. For others it may be spending time in nature, gardening, or making music. I challenge you to be conscious of those moments and what you’re feeling and what’s happening around you. That’s your sweet spot.

So kiddo! What’ll it be!?

You ready to wake up, start living, and do more of what lights you up and less of what doesn’t? You ready to speak and live your truth, no matter how uncomfortable and scary it may seem? You ready to stop lying to yourself and move beyond the many limiting stories and beliefs your mind would have you fall for?

Start by asking yourself this question: “What do you really want?” I challenge you to spend some time with that question and then share your answers in the comments below. There’s no stupid or wrong answer; go deep and honour yourself by really showing up while you search for your truth. This is the first step outside of your comfort zone and into living the kind of life you were put on this Earth to live.

With Love, Light, and Authenticity,